Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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free candy....

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!