Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down -62

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I'm desperate, you'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

thumb_up thumb_down +7

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!