Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -41

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down -43

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

I'm desperate, you'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

thumb_up thumb_down -104

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

thumb_up thumb_down -23

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So, you're a girl, huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!