- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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