Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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