Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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free candy....

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!