I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!