Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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I'll punch ya!

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!