Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!