- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

I'll eat your poop

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.