- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

thumb_up thumb_down -13

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +57

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +25

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!