- Anti-Pickup Line

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

I hate you already.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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