If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -50

(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

thumb_up thumb_down -58

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

thumb_up thumb_down -78

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

I think I shit myself

thumb_up thumb_down -7

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

thumb_up thumb_down +4

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

thumb_up thumb_down -14

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!