"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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