I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

I'll punch ya!

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

will you marry me

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!