- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

hey bitch

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

hey you look like a good practice girl.

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book