- Anti-Pickup Line

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

Wanna have sex?

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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