- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

jack sanders

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book