Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!