Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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