Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!