Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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jack sanders

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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