-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Wanna have sex?

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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I've got candy.

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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