Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Lesbihonest

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Have you met Ted?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!