Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Golf.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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my dick is 2 inches

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!