Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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So when' the baby due?

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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my dick is 2 inches

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!