- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

jack sanders

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book