Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Golf.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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You look exactly like my sister.

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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I have a gun.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!