"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Golf.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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You look exactly like my sister.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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I have a gun.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!