hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Gaywatch starts

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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-Do you like me? -No

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!