Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!