Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Soon

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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greetings clarisse...

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Are your prices by the hour

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!