Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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