Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Hello children! :D

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Male: Get in the van.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!