"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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greetings clarisse...

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Lesbihonest

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!