Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Are your prices by the hour

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +87

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

greetings clarisse...

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +176

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i am with stupid l l l \/

thumb_up thumb_down +211

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!