- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S , OFF!"

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book