Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Are your prices by the hour

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!