-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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