If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

How much do you like peanut butter?

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

Soon

-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

-I love you.

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

i am with stupid l l l \/

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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