Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Nice legs what time do they open

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

Five dollar women... WOO!

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!