*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Soon

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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-I love you.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!