nice kid... want another?

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!