Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

-Do you like me? -No

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Penis. I got it

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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