Business Y U No Advertise?

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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imgonna r@pe you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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