Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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