- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Still a better love story than Twilight

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book