Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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