Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Do you live around here often?

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!