By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

imgonna r@pe you

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

-Get in the Van

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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