What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Nice legs what time do they open

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!