- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book