Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

Stable relationships are for horses.

-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

You allergic to semen?

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

Hey, you want a ride?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!